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How To Network If You’re Shy Or Introverted

If you want to get known and keep ahead of the latest developments in your particular field, you realistically need to go to networking events. For most people that’s fine, but if you’re shy or introverted or just new to the scene, it can be quite daunting.

In this article we’ll share our best tips for introverts to shine, and get the best from networking events. Keep reading to find out more.

Top Tips For Networking For Introverts

Let’s get straight into the best ways for you to get the most out of business networking events for shy or introverted individuals. They include;

Do Your Research Before The Event

Most networking conferences have an attendee list and often include social media information. This allows you to gently stalk other attendees. Not in a creepy way, we’re not talking about finding out where they live or how many children they have.

But you can find out what areas they specialise in and you can use that to determine who will be most worthwhile for you to get to know.

Remember You’re An Adult (and not still at school)

Most introverts had a bad time at school, for instance you may have never made captain of any sports teams or got picked for the team in the first place! Other kids could have even made fun of you in some way which to them was a laugh but to you it was excruciatingly painful.

But here’s the good news, if that was the case, that was then… and this is now. 

You’re a clever trusted member of your team who is admired by your company. Plus you’re way more interesting than that little child who never got picked for the team back in school.

Consider The Possibility That Most People At The Event All Feel Like You 

When it comes down to it, we all have anxiety issues about making a good first impression to some degree. Which is an advantage to the introvert. Why? Because it means everyone is feeling exactly the same way that you are.

You can use that to your advantage because you’ll be making similar judgement calls on everyone that you meet. And you’ll soon realise that not everyone is a suitable contact and that’s OK. But it means that not everyone will want to stay in contact in just the same way as you will not want to stay in contact with everyone you speak to.

There’s no personal judgement, it’s just business and not everyone you speak to will be a good fit. And remember nobody is actually thinking about you or your mannerisms.

They’re either worrying about the way they come across or looking at potential business contacts.

Set Realistic Goals

The whole idea of attending a business event is to make new contacts. Now, we know for an introvert it’s a big deal but that is why you’re there!

So make a deal with yourself that you’ll make three (or four or five) new connections during the event. You’ve probably invested a lot of time researching the event to make sure it’s the right fit for your business. Not to mention the entrance fee, travel costs, accommodation costs etc.

To make it worthwhile you need to make at least three new contacts that might be in a position to further your career at some point. Tell yourself that every useful contact you make is one step closer to you leaving the event and returning to the comfort and safety of your home or office.

Start By Talking To Someone Standing On Their Own

If you spot someone standing all alone, the chances are they’re just as self conscious as you are and they’ll be only too pleased to be actually conversing with someone. They will also often become a great contact because they’ll always remember how you saved them from looking and feeling awkward.

Have A Simple Elevator Pitch Ready

One of the biggest challenges for introverts at networking events is knowing what to say when someone asks, “So, what do you do?” That’s where having a short and simple elevator pitch comes in handy.

An elevator pitch is just a brief introduction that sums up who you are, what you do, and what you’re looking for. It should be short, engaging, and easy to remember.

Here’s an example that you can adapt;

“Hi, I’m [your name], and I work as a [your job title] at [company]. I help [who you help] with [what you do]. Lately, I’ve been focusing on [recent project or interest]. How about you?”

This keeps the conversation flowing without feeling rehearsed or awkward. If you’re at a specific industry event, you can change your pitch slightly to fit the audience. The secret is to keep it natural and open ended so that the other person has something to respond to.

Have Some Open Ended Questions Prepared

When you pluck up the courage to engage with someone, you need to have something to say that will start a conversation. Have a few open ended questions ready for the occasion.

Why open ended questions? Because they require the other person to answer or appear incredibly rude. Once they’ve answered your first question, the conversation will start to flow naturally.

Open Ended Question Examples

Here are a few open ended questions to give you an idea;

• What sessions are you particularly looking forward to?
• What do you do?
• What’s the biggest project you’ve worked on?
• Do you know any of the speakers?

You can use these questions or make some of your own, just remember to make them open ended so the other person has to form a reply.

Wear Something That Will Get You Noticed

What you need to understand is that pretty much every attendee is feeling slightly uncomfortable and is looking for an easy way to break the ice. If you wear something really noticeable, it helps others to have something to say to you.

Which can save you the effort of having to make the first move. Try a colourful tie, bright dress, outrageous shirt or even bright socks! You must have something in your wardrobe that will fit the bill, wear it with pride and get yourself noticed.

One of the best ways to start a conversation with someone is to compliment them about something. Which means by wearing something really noticeable you’ll be making it really easy for someone to compliment you.

Put Your Phone Away & Make Eye Contact

Being an introvert, a mobile phone is a great tool to prevent you from feeling awkward. You can almost convince yourself that the reason you’re not engaging with anyone is because you’re busy looking at your phone.

This probably works in most situations, but at a networking event, the whole idea is to meet new people. The problem is, while you’re looking at your phone, you appear unapproachable to others.

So, put your phone away, make eye contact and above all else, smile. This makes you appear much more approachable and easy to talk to. You can also use this to your advantage if you see someone else just staring at their phone.

Go over and strike up a conversation with them, help a fellow introvert feel slightly more comfortable.

Don’t Stay With The First Person You Recognise

Being an introvert, it can be so easy to find a familiar face in the crowd and gravitate straight to them. That’s fine but don’t stay with them all day. You need to move around and meet new contacts and while your friend might introduce you to others, you’ll make a better and longer lasting impression if you make your own introductions.

Try To Latch On To An Extrovert

If you’re approached by someone that you’ve noticed is working their way around the room, in other words, an extrovert, try to remain in their orbit. Because they’re most likely going to have the right contacts that you have gone to the event to meet.

They’ve already worked the room and have an idea of who’s who and what’s what. Once you’ve told them who you are and what you’re hoping to achieve, they’ll be able to introduce you to the right connections.

Play To Your Advantages

Introverts don’t like to talk too much because they feel that they’re not so good at small talk. Which often makes an introvert a great listener. In our experience, most people aren’t actually listening to what you’re saying, they’re just waiting for a gap in the conversation so that they can speak.

Which is why an introvert’s natural tendency to listen instead of speaking can make others really warm to you. Use your natural listening skills to learn more about potential contacts which can help you to achieve your own goals while helping them as well.

Try To Remember The Persons Name

It can feel overwhelming being in a room full of strangers especially if you’re shy or an introvert. When you do finally meet someone new, it can be difficult to remember their name.

One technique we’ve found helpful is to visualise that person standing next to a celebrity or otherwise famous person with the same name. This will help you avoid that embarrassing “I’m sorry, I’m terrible with names” conversation ever again.

Don’t Forget About Virtual Networking

Not all networking has to happen face to face. In fact, for introverts, virtual networking can be a great way to ease into making new connections before an in-person event.

Many industry conferences have online forums, LinkedIn groups, or social media pages where attendees interact before the big day. Engaging in discussions, commenting on posts, or even introducing yourself in these spaces can make it easier to strike up conversations in person.

Webinars and virtual networking events are also great alternatives if the thought of a large gathering makes you anxious. You can join from the comfort of your own space, and many of these events have structured breakout rooms that make it easier to connect with others.

By taking advantage of online networking, you’ll already have a few familiar names and faces when you arrive at an in-person event, making the whole experience feel much less daunting.

Try Speaking At The Event

This one’s out there and not one for everyone, but if you really want to get others to notice you (and get into events for free), apply to speak at the event. If you have a certain amount of expertise in a particular field, your knowledge can help others.

With the added bonus that once you’ve given your speech, others will automatically want to speak to you. Plus as it’s a subject you’re more than familiar with, you’ll feel comfortable speaking about it.

What Should The Introvert Do After The Event?

Once the event is finished, it’s not all over, here’s what you should do;

Take Time To Recover

Once the event is over, you’re going to feel tired, worn out and need to recharge your batteries. Just by attending the networking event the introvert is likely to be exhausted. In fact if you feel particularly tired during the event you should excuse yourself and find a quiet corner to grab a quick recharge.

At the end of the day, you should definitely take the time to relax and recharge. Watch videos, read a good book or do whatever you do to relax.

Be Sure To Follow Up

This is the most important post conference activity that many fail to do. Once the event is over and you’re back at work, it’s time to go through the business cards you collected, refer to any notes that you wrote to accompany them and contact those useful contacts you made during the event.

This is where your introverted personality comes into its own. Others at the event spent their time with idle chit chat, but you listened to what people were saying and made informed decisions to connect with those that sounded as though they might be able to help you.

Plus, as you learned all about what they’re working on and got to know them so well, it’s easy for you to reconnect in a casual and not too pushy way. In turn, they will remember you as one of the only attendees they met who actually listened to what they were saying.

All you need to do is send them an email along the lines of;

Hi [name]

It was great meeting you at [event], I wondered if we could meet up for a coffee and discuss what we were talking about.

All the best [your name].

Or share something useful with them, if they mentioned a particular challenge or interest, send them a relevant article or resource. And if you genuinely feel there’s a real opportunity to collaborate, suggest a casual coffee meet up or a short virtual chat.

The trick is to make the follow up feel natural and not forced. And remember, most people appreciate a follow up because it shows you were genuinely interested in the conversation.

Networking On Your Own Terms

Being shy or introverted doesn’t mean you can’t be a great networker, it just means you need to approach it in a way that feels right for you. Focus on building meaningful one to one connections, prepare in advance, and take advantage of online networking opportunities. 

Remember, networking is a skill that improves with practice, and the more you put yourself out there, the easier it becomes. Over time, you’ll gain confidence, expand your network, and create valuable professional relationships, all without having to change who you are.

SEE ALSO: 20 Business Networking Event Tips (to sky-rocket your career)

Frequently Asked Questions